House Blueprints

Building Customs
An Arkansas boy had moved away and made his fortune. When he retired, he returned home to spend the rest of his years hunting and fishing and build his retirement home. For the job he hired a local carpenter.
The retiree explained, “I’ve got the plans right here, you can read a blueprint, can’t you?”
“Oh, I can read a blueprint,” said the carpenter, unrolling the plans. “And I can see a BIG mistake already. You can’t build this house like this!”
“I certainly can,” replied the retiree. “These plans were drawn by the best architectural firm in New York. I want to you follow them exactly or I’ll find myself another contractor.”
“Your funeral,” the carpenter shrugged, “but I’m warning you right off - the bathroom is going to end up inside..”.
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More You Might Be a Redneck if…
Your Momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, “The feud is on!”
The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
Your Mother has been involved in a fist fight w/the high school prinicipal.
You’ve ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
Your Brother-in-law is your Uncle.
None of your shirts quite cover your stomach, and it’s not because you are Britney.
You consider “Outdoor Life” deep reading.
Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
Your favorite Christmas present was a painting of Elvis on black velvet.
Your school fight song was “Dueling Banjos.”