Would you offer critique on my paper on design?

This is the beginning of a paper for school, I am to describe what influenced me to pursue the career I am pursuing and since starting school if I am still confident that I chose the right career. This is a rough rough draft, just looking for some opinions so far (I feel like it has no rhythm as of now...)

The beats of hammers on a piece of wood and the crack of a bat to a ball are two sounds that will always take me back to my childhood. My father was a sales representative for a lumber company by day, and the founder of a baseball organization by night. It was almost inevitable that I grow up with a passion for one of the two. The baseball fields never did much for me. Unless there was a wooded area nearby, there was not much to explore and no place to wander. Empty half built houses, on the other hand, were full of imaginary wonders. When I was very young, I would create worlds inside these houses and with each new house that my father was overseeing, there was a new adventure as well. As I got older, I became more curious about the structure itself. I wanted to know everything. I wanted to know how it was being built, what was holding the roof up, how the staircase was installed. Fortunately, I had formed a relationship with some of the workers over the years, and a lot of them took the time to answer my questions and explain things to me. My inquisitiveness about the structure itself soon turned into wanting to know more about the interior. How would the family use this space? Why the architect designed specific rooms to be adjacent to certain other rooms and why some rooms were spaced further apart. When not at the construction sites, studying the blueprints my father would bring home with him became another favorite thing to do. I started becoming familiar with floor plans and eventually began trying to draw my own (though, with only graph paper and little knowledge of drafting, they were never to scale and only understood by me.)

Now that I am school and learning the ins and outs of the design field, I am even more confident that I have chosen the right path. I struggled for a long time to choose one of my many passions to pursue as a career. I went back and forth for a very long time between Creative Writing, Photography, and Interior Design. I was very confused and put off returning to school for a long time because of my indecision. One day I realized, my poetry is always inspired by one of three things: architecture, humanity, and nature. My photography is also the same way, I do not find joy in posing people for portraits but leave me alone in a city for a day and I will return with a camera full of photos of people on the streets surrounded by beautiful architecture and natural wonders. Architecture, Humanity, and Nature. How could I possibly combine the three things that inspire me the most into one daily profession? Design is important to every aspect of our lives. A home’s functionality defines how the people in it live. By choosing sustainable products to use within the design, I can help protect our planet. Architecture, humanity, and nature are all closely interconnected and effect each other in intimate ways. As a designer, I can influence how they effect one another.








With 30 years of experience in interior design, I found your essay to be beautifully written from an intensely personal perspective inclusive of the childhood origins which inspired you to pursue this field of study. Further, the struggle between fields is a common one and your explanation of how they all integrate within the field of design for you is an interesting perception. The only advice I would offer is to make the paragraphs a bit shorter for ease of reading. A job well done and a wonderful answer to a question we ask while making hiring decisions, so you will serve yourself well to maintain and add to this as you complete your studies, Good luck!
Now that I am in school

Very good, I would encourage you to keep up Creative Writing, as you show promise










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